Xena and the Haircut
by Iluvhorses1997
Summary: Sometimes, Gabrielle can convince Xena to do some things that she doesn't really want to do...


Xena threw her chakram in the air, letting it fly, hitting walls, rocks, and finally cutting the rope that suspended the little baby in his basket, before returning to her hands. "Gabrielle, get the baby!" She shouted to her sidekick, doing a fantastic backflip backward, kicking Hayden, the wicked, baby-killing judge in the face.

"Curse you, woman!" He growled, clutching his bloody nose and glaring at the fearless woman standing in front of him.

"Judge Hayden…too long, you've ruled these people with fear and intimidation," Xena gestured toward the group of townspeople that had gathered to watch her kick-butt, "I think they can decide what to do with you now, you coward." Then she walked away, signaling for Gabrielle to follow her.

She knew what was going to happen to Judge Hayden, he would be thrown in prison by the very townspeople he had before ruled with an iron fist. His deeds had been brought to the open and no one would trust him with the position of judge again.

Gabrielle walked beside her on the road, cheerily talking about how happy she was that the villain had been taken care of and that the villagers would be safe now, without him. Xena was only half listening, lost in thoughts of her own, and when Gabrielle asked her a question, absent mindedly nodded her agreement.

"Wait, seriously?" Gabrielle stopped in her tracks and gaped at Xena in amazement.

"Yes, seriously. My mind is made up. And you know I won't change it." Xena had no idea what she'd agreed to, but it made Gabrielle speechless, which was something Xena would appreciate for a while.

They'd walked a while longer before coming upon a town and Gabrielle pointed toward a barber shop. "There's one."

"One what?"

"Barber shop."

"I see that. Do you want to get a haircut?"

"We should both get layers in our hair. It would be so beautiful, especially with your hair. I'm sure that you'd have even more guys following you around."

Xena laughed dryly, "Just what I need, more annoying admirers."

Gabrielle laughed, "Well, maybe _I_ would get some guys other than _Joxer_ following me around."

"Go for it. I'll stay out here with Argo."

Gabrielle crossed her arms. "You're getting layers with me. You're the only reason I'm even actually getting a haircut."

Xena raised an eyebrow. "Gabrielle, there is no way I'm going to layer my hair. I like it just fine the way it is."

"Oh, just come on!" Gabrielle huffed at Xena. "You have to."

"And why do I have to?"

"You told me you would!"

"I am not responsible for anything I say in a dream you have, Gabrielle. I'm not layering my hair. I'm not even cutting it."

"Xena, this wasn't a dream, it was when we were leaving that last town. I said that we should get a haircut sometime and you said sure. Then I asked if you wanted to layer your hair and you said definitely!"

"_That's_ what I was agreeing to?"

"Yes. And you can't break your promises."

Xena sighed discontentedly and Gabrielle crossed her arms and raised her eyebrows.

"You said you would."

"Can't you just drop it? You know I'm not that kind of person!" When Gabrielle kept staring her down, Xena finally rolled her eyes. "Fine, I'll get it cut, but nothing crazy."

Xena glared at her reflection in the hand mirror the barber handed her. "Gabrielle." She growled. "I told you nothing crazy."

"It's not crazy! It's just feathered layers."

Xena blew a bit of hair out of her face and gave Gabrielle a 'what have you done to me, go die' look. "Not crazy? Not crazy, huh? I _liked_ my bangs. I _liked_ my straight hair. Now it's…uncontrollable!"

"Well, at least it looks good on you!" Gabrielle gestured madly toward the new hairdo.

"Gabrielle…looking good on me is not something I worry about. _Manageable _is something I worry about." Xena clutched the air in her hands, strangling it the way she wanted to strangle Gabrielle and the barber.

Gabrielle looked at her for a moment before huffing and walking away shouting, "Excuse me for trying to help your fashion!"

It wasn't long after that, that Xena and Gabrielle were back on the road, neither one speaking to each other and Xena often blowing newly feathered bangs out of her eyes. It was driving her insane. Almost as much as when Ares had called the Furies in to curse her with madness.

"Well, well, look what we have here…." There was a slow, sickly sweet voice from behind, "two pretty dames, all alone, without a defender."

Xena turned to face the man, who was well built, a seasoned warrior, looking for some fun after a quiet day. "You assume women can't defend themselves." She mused. "So sweet."

The man laughed, "They can either be tough or they can be pretty, and you both are very pretty."

Xena raised her eyebrow, "Is that so? Come 'ere, just try me." The corner of her mouth was lifted in a smirk and the man, laughing, came nearer.

When he reached to grab her shoulders and pull her in for a kiss, she kneed him, sending him to the ground, but he was quickly on his feet, chasing her. She spun around, ready to whack him in the head with her fist, but she couldn't see him. All she could see was a feathery, ebony mass of hair.

She heard the clunk of skull on wood and pushed her hair out of her eyes just in time to see him land on the ground, Gabrielle's staff poised above his head, ready to strike if he moved.

"Why didn't you do some crazy awesome punching trick on him, Xena?" Gabrielle demanded.

"Well," Xena looked her dead in the eye, "I might have, except _someone_ made me get this blasted haircut!"

©2015 iluvhorses1997


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